Sugar Trap
Jan. 14th, 2019 07:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rosasericeaToday was a rollercoaster day, so it was no surprise when I drew the reverse VII of Wands at the end of it. I was ready to indulge in a night of heavy wallowing and anxiety, as my neurology appointment is tomorrow and my mom is going with me (which could be, like, a book-length post). Instead, I decided to make a playlist that might make me feel stronger. I'm listening to it right now, and it's working.
I'm thinking about the Then/Now memes going around and how many people disdain or cringe at their former selves. I don't feel that way, despite the fact that Previous Me's did things that I'd never do now. I know why I did those things, and how they contributed to who I am now--I don't flinch when I look back. Right now I'm channeling a version of me that survived some shit that Now Me probably could not. That version of me bore me to a place where I wouldn't need to be so hard. But I still need that strength sometimes, and if I hadn't been through all that, I wouldn't be able to call upon it now. So I'm grateful. And those Previous Me's weren't all terrible and miserable! They were, and are, me.
I'm thinking about the Then/Now memes going around and how many people disdain or cringe at their former selves. I don't feel that way, despite the fact that Previous Me's did things that I'd never do now. I know why I did those things, and how they contributed to who I am now--I don't flinch when I look back. Right now I'm channeling a version of me that survived some shit that Now Me probably could not. That version of me bore me to a place where I wouldn't need to be so hard. But I still need that strength sometimes, and if I hadn't been through all that, I wouldn't be able to call upon it now. So I'm grateful. And those Previous Me's weren't all terrible and miserable! They were, and are, me.